Disappointment

Recently I feel that I am always met with disappointment... be it with myself or my girl.

This week disappoint with my self achievement in life and at work.

Today is PSLE result collection day and I was disappointed with my girl result.

I do not know how to change all these, even by me working very hard may not work out well and I may just miss the joy and life of it all.

I always wonder how did others manage and can achieve so much? But I really have no clue to it all.

Complaints in Life

 

Saw this from Facebook today. I cannot help but fully agreed after the July episode of my peer / ex-colleague.

We used to complain about work and little things in life, about kids, spouse and etc. After she had cancer we talk even more.

Now that she is gone, it only make me realise, being able to complain is a blessing. She would want to complain and still be in it, be it work, or espically being with kids and spouse.

Now I really see work and feel life differently whenever I think about her. I would remind myself what could be worse than not having a choice to stay alive, free from physical pain and suffering, having the energy to make your own decision and choice?

No matter what it is today that I encounter, I have a choice on how to handle it be optimistic and deal with it the way I want to. Yes, we do complain and talk about it with peers and spouse but it is all these that make us have topics for catch up over a cup of tea, some short messages exchange or social media update.

1st Reflection Since Start of SG Circuit Breaker

6 months ago (1st Nov 2019) I started my probation. Just when I cleared the probation period (which I thought I would fail), SG went into Circuit Breaker on 7 April 2020. The most amazing thing is I did not lost my job at home, my boss at home decided to keep me through this tough times. I may not be 100% essential worker back in office but I am definitely 200% essential worker at home (dun believe check with the kids; every 15 to 20 mins when they are awake I will hear call for mummy's help on something especially during this period).

Least did I expect this job would include being a houskeeper which include cooking and cleaning function, a personal assistance with alarm clock and calendar reminder function, a tutor with dictionary and translation function and an IT support.

I remember an old friend of mine said he heard his "calling from God" when he change from IT line to teaching, maybe as usual I am blur enough to miss the calling but still god have his plan and arranged for me to go through 6 months of probation before handing me this essential job at home during the Circuit Breaker period. 😅🙏

*Special thanks to my mum who shared half of my workload during this period.

** I am not alone. I have the best work partners one can ask for, My Mother and My Hubby.😂😂

#MMN (Me & My Nonsense)

Cancer

For the past 3 to 4 years Cancer seem like a condition of no strange to me..

First my father in law, then my close colleague, then my brother in law and followed by my father.

Looking at my Father in law and my close colleague battle with Cancer it is really a long and tough journey. Especially for father in law whom my husband show great concern to. The last few months I was on no pay leave and could therefore spend more time with the family (in a way I am glad as I know this means a lot to my husband).

NPL No Pay Leave

It always take so long for me to write a journal on my thoughts..

In 2019, I changed project, joined a very scary project site and met many people whom I do not feel that they are genuine at work. It triggered me to make a tough decision to go on no pay leave and focus more on kids and family from 1st Nov 2019.

I got the full support from my partner and cannot complain. I truly enjoyed the extra time I have for myself, however, on some days I do get worry that I loss my income. I start to tell myself that I need to take better care of myself, and only when I have learnt to let go and know my priority than I can go back.

I want to lead a blissful life not regretting never spend enough time with my beloved family.


Set self reminder:
1) kids proper schedule for rest, study and play. (Our bonding)

2) Time spend with ageing parents.

3) Self care. Exercise and gaining of new knowledge.