Earned Respect

A comment extracted from Yahoo..
(I find it meaningful and I do share some smiliar tots as this person)

Many of Chinese visit their parents every Sunday because they feel obligated. Whenever they talk about it, it's like a weekly duty to them. I only wish I got to see my parents that often! I would LOVE to see my parents every week! I think my parents are one of the wisest couples there are. I sense that a person's actions and a person's attitude can be very different in my experience of an Asian culture.

I think it is important to refrain from saying that people from one culture are better or worse than those from another. I find it much more helpful to look at each culture separately and also what each one values. People do different things because of what they value, what they see as a priority. I believe one hallmark of many cultures within Asia is respect for elders. In my particular western culture (I cannot speak for them all.. and, yes, there are many), one key trait is self-reliance and independence. Parents teach their kids from young to do things for themselves, to save their money for their future, slowly teaching them how to handle adversity, etc... with the intention of helping the child to become a strong person and able to live securely in the world. So, in my culture, an adult who asks for alot of money MAY have a track-record of being irresponsible or a spend-thrift. They MAY be a person who didn't learn the lessons they were taught as a child. They MAY be better off learning those valuable lessons than having money thrown in their lap. Let's not jump to conclusions.

"[Westerners] don't respect elders, addressing the grandparents by first names, no respect for authority." My culture values people equally. I am so thankful to my parents for teaching me (then a child) to hold conversations with adults. I actually enjoyed talking to some adults more than some kids, who I found uninteresting! And, no, I have never called my grandparents by their first names. In fact, it was "Grandma [Surname]", etc.

I truly believe that a person cannot be truly respected unless they are worthy of that respect. Where I live in Asia, I have seen many grandparents smack around their grandchildren. Just a few days ago, I saw a grandmother hit her young grandson across the head! In my opinion, this is completely inappropriate and constitutes abuse. That child will never truly respect his grandmother -- not in the purest sense of the word. He may respect her in the sense of fear or submission, but not in terms of true admiration and gratitude. I believe one must show love and compassion before one can earn respect. And yes, I believe it must be EARNED, even in a family setting. This is exactly why we tend to respect the older generation more -- they have more life experience and therefore have quite literally earned it.