恋上错误的感觉

I felt deeply when he said "Don't use my money!" (一言惊醒梦中人。。。）- anyway I never had the intention to use his money for my own stuff and I have always been more spend thrift than him.

He makes me feel so disappointed... already I have been bottling up some unhappiness between us, yet he aggregate it by making unwanted comment.

Right from the start our marriage is not a happy one to start with, but I always believe he have touched me and that's all it matters (his family towards me is just secondary) but this evening I have to admit this thought have to change...

We both love our family, during last year Mother's Day, he run around to get a leg massager for his mum while my mum got nothing.. Recently my mum complaint of leg pain, and I thought of getting her a negative ion bed (cos feedback for that was good), yet he make the above comment.

I feel so disappointed. My mum help to take care of our kid, cook for us daily, even not his own mum, but I think my mum have done her best for both of us.

Some how I feel so glad this evening that I am a working mum and not someone who sit at home to wait for his money. I cannot imagine if I were a non-working mum, I think I will be bullied like nobody business by him and his family... (Like what I see in those Korea/Taiwan soap opera)

Come to think of it, if my mum can treat him so well and yet he make this comment, what make me think he will treat me well after many years of marriage when all love faded? He may have just treated me like partner for companionship and to help him bear his family line.

Influencer

Last 2 days I went to attend a course; Tittled: "Influencer"

It actual talk about how one can influence ourself and people around us.
They have a specific model (if I can summarise now base on my memory)



I particular remember the following quotes use in the class:
a) "Some" is not a measurement, and "Soon" is not a timing
b) "80% of the time children are being punish for mimicking their parents"

we learn by reverse engineering.
1) we need to be very clear with what is the end result we have in mind
2) we need to identify the vital behaviour (which is normally an action taken during crucial moment)
3) we need to analyse and execute base on the (1) to (6) mentioned in the diagram above.

12 Things We'd Tell Our Bosses if We Could

Quoted from Yahoo! news:
Karen Burns, On Wednesday 16 June 2010, 22:47 SGT

As employees, we are told to be diligent, to follow through, to be "self-starters," to have a good attitude, to be flexible and patient and dependable and loyal and respectful. We're told there is no "I" in "team." We're told, "You should just be grateful you have a job." But surely bosses have obligations to us just as we do to them. And surely one of the biggest of those obligations is to seek out their employees' point of view.

Of course, not all employees feel free to say what they're actually thinking. You know who you are! That's why in today's column, the employees of the world get to speak up. What would you say to your boss if you could say absolutely anything at all? This is your chance, people.

Here are a dozen to get you warmed up:
1. "Give me the tools I need to do a good job." If you're unsure, ask me. But, basically, time, materials, information, maybe even a little authority--these are what I need to succeed.

2. "Admit it when you make a mistake." It shows you're not afraid and is the best way to earn my respect. Whatever you do, don't act as if you never make mistakes. That's just ridiculous.

3. "Don't treat me like a cog on a wheel." I'm an individual. If I screw up, tell me. If someone else in my group screws up, tell him. Don't blame the whole team.

4. "Ask for my opinion from time to time." I might be able to offer some good ideas if you listened to me even half as much as you expect me to listen to you.

5. "I truly need frequent feedback." Please don't wait till the year-end performance review. I can do a better job for you if you let me know what I'm doing wrong, and what I'm doing right, on a regular basis.

6. "Don't leave me hanging out to dry." When things go south I need you to be a leader and back me up. If you are not loyal to me, it is impossible for me to be loyal to you.

7. "I can't hear you when you shout." Maybe someone once told you intimidation is a good management tool. But seriously, yelling at employees just makes you look weak and ineffectual.

8. "Don't make me work with idiots." I realize it's not easy but if there's a problem person in the group it's your job to resolve the situation. Don't let it drag on and on. It poisons the whole workplace.

9. "Have a clear agenda." If you don't know what you want, how do you expect me to? I need you to understand your own goals, and communicate them to me clearly.

10. "Don't lie about deadlines." There is no better way to lose the trust of your people than to set "fake" deadlines. Trust me enough to be honest with me and I'll do a good job for you.

11. "Be predictable." If you behave erratically I will spend more time and energy worrying about what you're going to do next than working.

12. "Mentor me." Ask me my goals. Give me projects that help me develop and grow. I will do a fabulous job for you if you take an interest in me and my career. And that's a win-win.

Karen Burns is the author of the illustrated career advice book The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use, recently released by Running Press. She blogs at www.karenburnsworkinggirl.com.