坏家婆加三姑六婆

Although I try to forget what had happened before, but they stupidly want to bring those memories back into me.

Today went to my parents-in-law's stationery shop, initally my mood was okay, but towards the end it change totally. I happen to walk into the shop while my hubby was in there for long, and realise that my mother-in-law and her friend was down there talking to my hubby about how he should give more money to his parents and be home more often. And from there her friend got more irritating (yet thought she was trying to salvage the situation) by saying “我不是在指山骂怀”, which is so obvious that whatever she said is cause my mother-in-law has complaint.

E.g. money must give more to parents cos they will give it back to you when they past on (bull shit cos my hubby parents are different from other parents interm of money.. My mother-in-law ever declare that she can serve her ties with her own mother not to mention son infront of both my hubby and me.. what do you think of a person who can said this??)

Contradicting to what the 'aunty' mention, my in-law's money will still be their money if not the elder son, so why is that 'aunty' friend saying that the parents money will be back to the respective son? on what basis? (Look at the action taken by my in-law before our wedding you will have doubt about what the aunty said)

What had happen before she was not in the picture, how can she make all those remarks infront of me?? Angry!!! my stupid hubby still stand there and refuse to move even thought he knew I wanted to go.

I wonder if that 'aunty' had treated her to-be daughter-in-law the way my in-laws have treated me, will her daughter-in-law still be as kind to behave like what she had dictated.

1) Who was the one who anyhow throw temper at me even before I was married into her family?

2) Who was the one who scold her son infront of everybody when we wanted to purchase our own house when her son was about to get married? (As a newly wed couple we just wanted to have our own place)

3) Who was the one who scolded her son just because he is financial tight during his preparation for marriage period, and told his family that he tentatively cannot afford to pay his younger brother 3rd semester university school fee? ( Not to mention that he didn't even ask for a cent from his family for his wedding preparation, and has paid for his younger brother earlier 2 semester school fee in full )

Not only those, my in-laws have not been kind to me during my wedding preparation.

First, they threaten not to attend the tea ceremony (Not as if I care!).

Second, they sold their house and quickly bought another cos they worried that their 2nd son (which is my hubby) will take money from them.

Third they even go to the extend of telling my hubby and me that I have to restrict to only $1000 on jewellery for the wedding (which is a chinese custom for the in-laws to buy for their new daughter-in-law).

These will always remain in my memory because of their unkindness, they successfully make my once in a life time marriage not a very happy one. Although my hubby have been trying very hard to make it a unique one for us; his parents just like to go against him and almost destory most of his effort.

Everytime I wanted to convince myself to let it go on the account of my hubby's sweetness towards me, but than they will sure find chance to detour my effort.

My hubby is also one of a kind, he know that I cannot 'tahan' his parents, but he will try ways and means to make me go and lose my temper; destory my mood and make my day a bad one. He is just not smart enough to try keep us a part and visit on a need-to basis, maybe after some years I can let go, instead of making it worse (to the extend that it affect our marriage).

Added Thoughs About Relationship

From Friendship to Relationship
From Relationship to Kindership
What happen after that??
(No relationship... If it is not handled properly...)

Mummy in My Life

She give me my everything...

Bring me to this world,
Brought me up,
Provide for me,
Even now give me a lifestyle...

My Mum...
She helped me in my life, even now when I have kidz...

Gentle to Each Other

wow... wow... how time past..
Girl think that it is so human for one to forget to show care and concern for the people around them in this busy city... Boy and Girl just forget how it feel to be sweet and nice to each other.
Last nite Boy reminded Girl why can't she be more gentle to him, and that remind Girl of those days during their courtship period... Have They really forget to be nice to each other for so long??

冰冻三尺非一日之寒

Girl is very upset by a comment made by one of her closest guy... "冰冻三尺非一日之寒". She is surprise by the word he used. She fully understand its meaning when being used, but this Chinese idiom has never cross her mind. And when last evening he use this term on her, she knew what she worry has never goes away.

Both boy and girl are just human. They do not forgive so easily and often bear grudges. Girl jolly well know that they have problem now, and future...

Just like the girl mentioned.. Female alien only mention that the girl is a bad girl cos she take money as important, but if female alien discover its own male alien partner tranfer 10k power (in unit of SGD) to another female alien that almost become the male alien's partner will the female alien maintain her cool and keep quiet? or will she scream even louder than the girl?

Her hate, her unhappiness, her unwillingness to be any closer to that alien family was much more deeper than she, herself knew and what the boy understand. The boy hurt her once again, should they continue to be link together? Or she will be happier with just her family and friends?

莫名的感动

今晚在家看了一部很无里头的爱情电影。
虽然很无里头但心中却有一种莫名的感动。。。
看见剧中不同的爱情故事，我突然很感慨自己以失去了恋爱的岁月。
既怀念又庆辛自己以不必为情受煎熬。

多希望我的人生中的爱情是没有遗憾的，这或许就是每个人在婚前婚后所希望。

iText

Hihi... Whoever is reading. :)

Today at work a new term appear 'iText' and I did a google search...

When I read about this via a website, I came a cross this paragraph and can't help copying it down in my blog as I find it interesting:

"The other chapters contain a plethora of small and not-so-small examples. I chose to provide the most 'theoretical' chapters of the book for free, because they form a nice introduction to both PDF and iText. They aren't as 'technical' as the other chapters in the book, so they can easily be read by people who don't know anything about Java or PDF development. In a company, people like that are often called 'decision makers' ;-)"

Reference from: http://www.1t3xt.com/docs/book.php

Lele's First Fever

So long never blog about my baby... Yesterday she got fever... this is her first fever since her birth. As of yesterday, She is 8 months and 3days old.

I received 4 miss calls from home, was thinking something must be wrong so I quickly call home. Indeed, mum said my baby vomitted and she will be bringing her to KK soon. Thereafter I contacted my hubby and I rush to KK in cab.

There she was my poor little baby with my mum... she look so poor thing yet so cute...

After her checkup and urine test, we brought her to get her medicine, thermometer and fever pad.

According to mum, KK service was very good. Upon her arrival, they took both adult and baby's temperature. When inform of the baby's condition, they gave her medicine to lower her temperature while waiting for consultation. (to me this is a good move cos many babies cannot take the waiting time with their high temperature)

Failure in Real Life

Had wanted a simple life with beautiful love, but real life is just not as happy as stories where ending is "happily ever after..."

Had all along thought I will be a lovely wife, but under certain scenario I just can't... Imagination is always more easy and beautiful than real life.

After 1st, thought I learn to be more mature and in control of my temper.

After 2nd, thought I am more mature and independent.

Erm.. all these are fake... I am more mature, more controlled and independent only initially.. then back to old self.

I can't proudly face my first two failure, and compare how much I have improved...

Marry the Rite Person?

Below is an extract from an email received recently. (Not sure who is the author; therefore cannot make reference at all.)

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.

It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love . Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling. Remember this always : "God determines who walks into your life.. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

Simple Theories of In-Laws

1) Mother-in-law: Often treat daughter-in-law as a mistress, and or a family crusher, as they often feel that it is the daugther-in-law who took her son away.

2) Daughter-in-law: Often see mother-in-law as a step mother (who isn't nice to them; like real mum).

Foundation-less Marriage

Ever thought of how Foundation-less Marriage will be like??

Never till this evening... And what make this a foundation-less marriage?

1) Promise; (Empty Promise = EM)
Before marriage promises were never realise:
a) Quit smoking? First promise 3 months into courtship he will quite smoking, than is 3 months after marriage, lastly 3 months after child birth, but none of them came true.
b) Contribute 50% more to co-saving - EM, with reasons like household installments. Reasons was accepted by wife and co-saving drop till on-par. But 2 years later, when there is no more installment, things did not revert. It just hang there...

2) Commitment - dare not commit, giving reasons that wife will build up expectation and if can't meet that hubby will be scolded. Don't the husband think that it is then time for him to look at how realistic each time he estimate thing to commit and inform his wife of the current status and difficulties he faced? Instead of blaming the wife for being disappointed? Don't the wife have the entitlement to feel disappointed?
a) Time commitment
b) Events commitment
c) Finance commitment

3) Trust / Betrayal - on two occasion: (a) 3 months before their wedding and (b) a month before birth of their first BB, wife discover hubby transfer a huge among of money to his ex-girlfriend. Is this a form of distrust? Since he dun even dare / bother to let his wife know why and what happen before...

Project @ Work

On Friday I actually have many things in mind to blog about, but due to time constraint at work I cannot blog. By this evening (Saturday), I have forgotten more than 50% of what I have in mind to blog...

The major part that I sort of remember what I wanted to blog on is work related and Project Management related... I was in a progress meeting this Friday morning, I must admit that I am truly amazed by the ability of my project head in tracking project progress.

There are many nitty gritty details in this major project. e.g. from procurement to application and system design, from each iterative prototyping to end-to-end module release schedule and etc... (too many tracks)

Then there is another episode where the vendor side feedback that their team is very demoralized too whenever they miss the deadline. I am aware of it, but there is truly no perfect balance between project client and project vendor requirement and schedule. Some of the problem just exist in project and it is tough to avoid.

We even discussed that in a project, we should always firm up the Information Architecture, Application Architecture and Technical Architecture before one can truly start coding for individual modules. Which may affect many other modules if there is any changes.

Vacation Thoughts

What am I waiting for?

1) Human are jus so funny, we will wait for something which we know is unrealistic, but just hope to seek a moment of happiness. During the wait or for that short term of get to gather...

2) Why is it that we always quarrel when we are close and we miss each other when we are so far away from each other?

3) What is the best way to past a weekend?
a) Plenty of Family time
b) Plenty of relax and rest time (even if it means wasting of time)
c) Plenty of excerise
d) Plenty of self organise time
e) Plenty of self improvement and learning program

4) Fear creeps in whenever I am left alone, feeling tired and loss... Fear that I'm not being loved and nothing to look forward to...

Ah Gong's Last Journey

Long time never blog... Busy with life... birth of my first baby, confinement, back to work and death of my grand father...

I am not extremely close to my grandfather, but still when face with the news of his death I feel something deep inside me. I do not know how to express that feeling, but I feel upset for him whenever I thought about the last part of his life.

Life haven't been good for him especially he is blinded for almost 20 years, nobody really cared if he feel bored staying home and he have to tolerate the scolding of his wife...For me I really lose touch with him since I went overseas study and followed by my parents move out of that horrible house.

Saturday nite, I was with my hubby at Ark cafe... At about 10pm, Dad called me and ask me to go fetch him to collect Ah Gong's NRIC and stuff from the nursing home as he had passed away. I rushed back and for the following 4 days, time pass very fast and I am always tired travelling across the road to next block where the wake is.

Second day after my grandfather passed away, I sent my hubby off at the airport for his 3 and the half weeks work related trip. I'm left alone with the baby and of course lucky my mum is always there to help, but this time is really my family affair so even mum is busy.

On the fifth day when the funeral takes place, I really feel that sadness, I cried when the 'Sai Gong' was chanting and the whole family walks a few rounds, round the coffin. During the walk sending Ah Gong off his last journey to Mandai Cremation Centre, I cried, think of his last few years of life was an upset one... and at the cremation viewing hall, my aunt cried really hard and we all cried I watch the coffin where my Ah Gong was sleeping in being sent in for cremation.

The Sail @ Marina

Yesterday I went for a gathering at The Sail @ Marina... My friend from Malaysia work in Accenture posted to Singapore for a project since last year Nov (2008) till Aug (2009).

Wow... The place was a dream place. She lives alone in the studio apartment, the place is so well design (everything is so compact) and the facilities are so nice. I keep imagine how cosy it will be if I can live there, the place look neat and easy to clean. It is a great place for singles or even just two, but now I am with a kid, so I think it can only be a dream.

When I was a teen, that is the kind of place I am looking forward to live in and learnt to be independent on my own. Even when I went to Australia, I didn't manage to live in such apartment.

Nite view from 44th floor of the apartment:

Hubby's New Hobby

Humm... recently hubby suddenly pick up photography and blogging during his 'long' year end leave at home. :p Look like not a very good sign for me though. Cos firstly photography is an expensive hobby. Secondly he already have so little time for me now with new added hobbies his time and attention for me will be lesser.

On another hand I also enjoy some of the good side, e.g. when I go gathering with gals friend, hubby can go around taking photos before picking me up, in this case I won't feel that bad leaving him out. And also there are more topics for him and his good friend, which I enjoy going out with them for dinner and mahjong.